Desperately.
I know that, I really do. So then why do I still keep my guard up? Even to Him? When I lived in Washington He was my best friend. I talked to Him everyday, and He was always just there. So what is different? Why can't I find that same connection just because I moved? I really don't believe it was where I lived. So what am I doing different?
I had so many amazing people in my life when I lived in WA. People who have changed my life , and who have had a huge part of making me who I am. I will always be so grateful for every single thing that God has blessed me with (there are A LOT). But He has blessed me with even more extraordinary people here. People who love me for me, and people who love Jesus.
So why? I have an amazing church that I love. I volunteer on two service teams. I am in a bible study. I work harder here to be closer to God than I did in WA, yet I feel like it's not working. Don't get me wrong. I still LOVE Jesus, and I know he loves me. But something is different. And I want what I had back. Was it just the newness? Has the "honeymoon period" ended? So what do I do? If anyone out there in Blog land knows please tell me!
So enough of the serious stuff. How about a pic of the cuteness that I get to spend my days with??
Your welcome :) There will be more on His Cuteness later. For now this nanny has to get to bed. Someone will be ready to play bright and early tomorrow :) xoxo
Kendra~
ReplyDeleteMaybe it is the newness of being in yet another home again, but as you know, wherever you go, God will follow. You are so loved and such a great friend to a lot of people. You don't know what a difference it makes to come to church and lifegroup each week to someone who always has a smile for you...even if it is somewhat stalker-ish lol...that "someone" is you :) Just keep praying about these feelings you're having-I promise God will come through for you..He always does!
James 4:8
ReplyDeleteCome near to him and He will come near to you. I love that! You are doing what you are suppose to be doing. You are seeking him and the word says that is all we have to do. Don't let your relationship rely on feelings. In all relationships there will be times when those fuzzy feelings go away. However, you know you still love that person. Having a true relationship with Jesus means worshiping him, praising him, loving him with your whole heart even when you don't feel those warm feelings. Love you girl!
I don't know a lot about your relationship with Jesus, but I know that you are amazing and everyone who knows you, loves you. You are sweet, thoughtful, fun and beautiful. Keep your chin up because there is no one quite as wonderful as you in the world. Jesus knows that and that should make you feel better. Miss u girlie! Des
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